It’s been a few weeks since my last post and I’ve felt the guilt over not writing linger like a slow tide. Life gets busy sometimes, from participating in a Spartan race to flying out the next morning to attend my nephews Christening (who, by the by, is the most delectably delicious little creature that I have ever laid eyes upon, a magical little human who has the soul of ancient Gods, eyes that see all of the mysteries of the Universe and a personality to die for) to flying back to New York, work for a couple of days and present my current body of work in progress to my gallery director, to fly to Mexico a few days later for a yoga retreat that gave me more than I could have ever conceived of in the strangest, most chaotic ways, making it that much more interesting given the complete and total contradiction and absurdity of it all. I see it now, a movie in the making!
So what now? I’m not sure really.
And how? I honestly have no idea.
I know how to do what I do and will continue to do it and do it well, but my lotus has dug through the mud, swam through the dark depths and is swaying, nearing the surface. The cerulean waters reflecting the sky and the flower ready to bloom in directions that I have only just conceived.
The journey is a mystery and in those dark depths that fact is frightening and has the potential to consume you, swallow you whole like Artax in the Swamp of Sadness. But the light is shinning brightly through and the mystery suddenly transforms into an ocean of possibilities. The question of how becomes exciting. The possibilities endless. The journey electrifying. The fear of how long this elation will last surfaces every now and again, only to be pushed out by, fuck that shit, I feel supreme today. Focus on the gratitude that you thought you had lost. Remember your gifts and follow your heart. Everything will work out, it always does and flow with the tide, not only because it’s easiest but also because it’s fun as hell, when you need to, fight against the tide if only to prove that you can and when you start to discover what and how, orchestrate the waves so that they crash in large melodious thunders or wash up in sweeping stylized soliloquies. Whenever that darkness looms, respect it, live in it, accept it, love it, cry with it, fight it, thank it and then let it go. Move forward literally one footstep at a time and do the very best that you can with what you’ve got in any given moment. Be kind, not only to others but to yourself and remember love is universal.