What is PMS exactly and why is it that in this day and age of great medical advancements we haven’t figured this one little thing out that has been with us, literally since the beginning of humanity?

PMS, otherwise know as Premenstral Syndrom (IT’S A SYNDROME!!! That explains so much.) The Mayo Clinics definition:

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) has a wide variety of symptoms, including mood swings, tender breasts, food cravings, fatigue, irritability and depression. It’s estimated that as many as 3 of every 4 menstruating women have experienced some form of premenstrual syndrome.

Symptoms tend to recur in a predictable pattern. But the physical and emotional changes you experience with premenstrual syndrome may vary from just slightly noticeable all the way to intense.

Still, you don’t have to let these problems control your life. Treatments and lifestyle adjustments can help you reduce or manage the signs and symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.

Ok…care to tell me something a little more concrete???

Premenstrual syndrome: A combination of physical and mood disturbances that occur in the last half of a woman’s menstrual cycle after ovulation which normally end with the onset of the menstrual flow. Physical features of the premenstrual syndrome (PMS) include breast tenderness and bloating. Psychological changes include anger and depression.

Monthly chemical changes may be responsible for PMS. The chemical changes may involve sex hormones, neurotransmitters, and opioid peptides.

PMS can be mimicked and must be distinguished from other disorders. The most helpful diagnostic tool for PMS is a menstrual diary. Treatment of PMS includes exercise, dietary changes, emotional support from family and friends, and medications. The medications for PMS include diuretics, pain killers, oral contraceptives, drugs that suppress ovarian function and antidepressants. Abbreviated PMS.

Hmmmmm… only slightly less vague with the added possible reasons why it happens, but still no explanation as to the purpose and the added advice of filling our bodies with toxic chemicals that might cause long term damage and illness to the consumer. GRRRRREAT!!!

Why does my appetite increase exponentially? Why do I crave not only more food in general but also chocolate and cakes and cookies and ice cream?

Why am I jam packed with so much energy that I could run a full length marathon and so exhausted the next day that I could sleep for 24 hours straight?

Why am I rage filled, annoyed with every living human being (except my nephew) and truly desire to punch people in the face?

Why am I bloated, constipated and gassy the week before my period only to have diarrhea the day after I start my period?

Wikipedia explains: While PMS is linked to the luteal phase, the causes of PMS are not clear, but several factors may be involved. Changes in hormones during the menstrual cycle seem to be an important factor; changing hormone levels affect some women more than others. Chemical changes in the brain, stress, and emotional problems, such as depression, do not seem to cause PMS but they may make it worse. Low levels of vitamins and minerals, high sodium, alcohol, and/or caffeine can exacerbate symptoms such as water retention and bloating. PMS occurs more often in women who are between their late 20s and early 40s; have at least 1 child; have a family history of depression; and have a past medical history of either postpartum depression or a mood disorder.

To read the full Wikipedia definition follow this link:

So… aside from being told what I’m already excruciatingly aware of, given that I’ve experienced these symptoms personally, every month (give or take a month or two) for the last 20 odd years… know one really knows why.

Do you know what I’m going to do with all of this excess, since know one seems to know exactly what the purpose of it is??? I’m going to use it to get shit done, fuck all dat shit, pun intended. If I’m gonna be jacked on hormone crazies, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, bloated and constipated and wanting to punch just about every living human in the face, I might as well use that to get shit done! I’ll be bitchy and grumpy and bossy and just overall disgruntled and quite possibly unpleasantly abrupt, but fuck it, until someone can actually explain to me what is happening and why, I’m going to fuck all a y’all (not really, not only don’t I want to fuck the vast majority of you, I also know you all have nothing to do with any of it) and GET SHIT DONE.

Posted on February 23, 2016 Leave a comment